If I had a hammer… I’d beat myself with it for not doing more…

I’d like to say it’s compassion fatigue, or burnout over spreading myself too thin. But my languishing recently has been from a feeling of futility and hopelessness. It wasn’t an abundance of compassion sent outwards into the world that wore me out. It was the absorption of an abundance of suffering without the ability toContinue reading “If I had a hammer… I’d beat myself with it for not doing more…”

Mid-size kid, mid-size problems- and outsized joy. (Happy Birthday, Will)

My son turned 13 yesterday. A teenager! When he was a baby and toddler, my boss – a father of teenagers himself – liked to tell me, “Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems.” This was…. an ominous and heavy response to my stories of “he just won’t go to sleep” and “I wonderContinue reading “Mid-size kid, mid-size problems- and outsized joy. (Happy Birthday, Will)”

Holding a lost friend in love

A dear work friend of mine died by suicide almost five years ago. I woke up thinking about him today and just wanted to use this space to hold his memory in love for a moment. I love that he showed up for me today. At first it seemed random, but I remember that yesterdayContinue reading “Holding a lost friend in love”

An Epiphany Coup Attempt

Today is Epiphany. I’ve been planning this specific excerpt from Father Clay for today, but I had some doubts about its timeliness this afternoon: the US Capitol has been breached. The Confederate flag was flying there. I believe in the rule of law, regardless of party, and today’s unfolding events are so very disturbing andContinue reading “An Epiphany Coup Attempt”

Resolving to Let Go of Some Tar in 2021

This reading from Father Clay started out as a response to Pixar’s movie Soul and then also became a meditation to work through a really unsettling conversation I had this week. And also, I think it’s a good one for New Year’s Resolution season. I’m going to try to do all three here. Soul: TheContinue reading “Resolving to Let Go of Some Tar in 2021”

Christmas Reminder: God is In Us All

For a lot of people, the Christmas season is not the most wonderful time of the year. It’s a time of loneliness and isolation and time when feelings of alienation and shame make themselves known. I like this Christmas letter from Father Clay, reminding us that God is in all of us. Merry Christmas. HoweverContinue reading “Christmas Reminder: God is In Us All”

Advent: Preparing for What’s Next

My sister and I used to lie to our parents about whether we had gone to church, if we thought we could get away with it. We lived close enough to walk to church, and with so many people and schedules in the house, it was occasionally conceivable that I could have gone to massContinue reading “Advent: Preparing for What’s Next”

Break on Through to the Other Side?

Last week my sixth grader’s homeroom teacher asked the kids to submit a goal for the year – something they wanted to accomplish in school, that was specific, measurable, timebound. All good things. Will’s first stab was to “get all A’s.” A fine, admirable outcome, but an outcome nonetheless – something that he could eitherContinue reading “Break on Through to the Other Side?”

Taking the Pressure Off Forgiveness

This week I was helping some other consultants revise social media posts when I saw one about vulnerability from a middle-aged man. Usually a great start. Then, he said he was making himself vulnerable by asking for forgiveness from neighbors who judged him when he left his wife and kids after 17 years of marriage.Continue reading “Taking the Pressure Off Forgiveness”

Primitive Feelings and the Minnesota State Fair

They canceled the Minnesota State Fair last week. I pretty much assumed they would, though it was no fun to see it in print, after a week of canceled summer camps and winding down work with my biggest client, who is putting our contract on pause while the pandemic plays out. It seemed like nothingContinue reading “Primitive Feelings and the Minnesota State Fair”